It's Always Something
by greedmammon
Summary: Alfred's trying to find someone, but to no avail.  But when he has to bring a drunken Arthur home from a bar, he gets a little more then he bargained for.  First fanfic, please review.  I'm terrible at summaries... so sorry.


The noise in the bar is pretty annoying. I look over at my date, Matthew, and jokingly grimace. He smiles," I know, but the place is still pretty good." His light blond hair is falling into his eyes and I have to suppress a squeal. So cute!

The waitress brings over our drinks. We both ordered sodas, not being brave enough to try the drinks labeled," Fantasy Football Explosion." Matthew starts asking questions about me as he sips the Coke. I dutifully respond. My name's Alfred, I like junk food, no siblings, 22 years old, blond hair, 177 centimeters tall (It makes me seem taller) fears: Dora the Explorer. Eye color: blue. Favorite restaurant: Anywhere with a cheeseburger.

"You're afraid of Dora?" Matthew asks in disbelief.

"Hey, she's scary!" I say in defense. He just laughs in disbelief. "You are so mean!"

"Okay, okay…" he raises his hands as a peace treaty.

I'm about laugh when I hear the sound of a glass shattering. As the bar goes quiet, everyone spins around and looks at the source. A cute guy with short blond hair is standing on one of the tables. In one hand he holds a bottle of beer and in the other, the shattered remains of a ketchup bottle. "And you can shove it up your," he takes a swig of the beer," I hope you die, you stupid frog! Go die in a ditch Francis!"

I look at Matthew," Didn't you say you had a friend named Francis?"

His face pales," Oh crap! Why's Arthur here?" I give him a puzzled look and he explains," My friend's ex, unfortunately as of yesterday. I guess he's pretty upset."

"Oh yes, he looks so sad," I say sarcastically. In the quiet of the room, Matthew's giggle is really loud. Arthur spins around at the noise and his eyes widen at the site of Matthew.

"Oh, if it isn't one of the ingrates friends himself! Oi, you git! I got something to say to you!" the drunken man yells out across the room.

"Maybe I should go…" Matthew says a bit nervously.

"Should I come with you?" I ask him.

He shakes his head," Nah, he'll probably just follow me around for a while before going home. You shouldn't have to spend your evening like that." He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek," I had a great time with you."

"Me too," I say, blushing slightly. Matthew laughs and walks away. As he walks out the door, I take a large gulp of my Pepsi. Every…dang….time! I swear it's always something. I haven't been on a good date in ages. I mean, the last guy I dated was a moron. His favorite grandfather was on his deathbed seven times. Seven! Just tell me you don't like me and get it over with, you wuss!

As I ponder my bad luck on the dating scene, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around to see Arthur staring at me with beautiful green eyes. "Were you with that," he takes a swig of the beer in his hand. He stares at the bottle for second before realizing it is empty," Matthew?"

"Um… yes?" I say reluctantly.

"I want you to tell him that he's a-" he pauses," he's a –" and then Arthur collapses on the floor, almost knocking me down with him in the process. As I stand back up, the bartender comes out from behind the bar.

"Is he yours?" he asks me.

"Not rea-"

"Well, get him off of my floor! That guy won't be waking up for a while with the number of drinks he's had."

"But I don't even know-"

"Just get him out of here and your drink, and his drinks, are free.

Twenty minutes later, I'm lugging the snoozing guy up the stairs to his apartment. Luckily, the guy keeps his address in his wallet. Yes, I went through his wallet! I didn't take anything! I didn't know where the guy lives!

As we get to his apartment on the second floor, I put down the McDonald's bag in my mouth. Luckily there's one right around the corner from his apartment. Thank you GPS! Anyways, I take the bag out and fish the key out of Arthur's wallet, which I'm keeping in my pocket. Inside is a key duct taped to the walls. I peel it off, put it in the lock, and quickly open the door.

The apartment is so clean, my eyes start to burn. It's a stark contrast to the messy ruins of my house. I drag Arthur down the hallway and try all the doors. Bathroom, Living room, Kitchen, and finally I open the door into the bedroom.

I heave Arthur onto the bed with the red comforter and quickly tuck him under the blanket. There. I got the guy home, got a free drink from the bartender, and now I can go home and watch my collection of Batman movies with some ice cream.

The only thing stopping me is my danged nosiness. Before I go, I have to snoop around. I skip the kitchen; nobody ever keeps anything interesting there. In the living room is a picture of Arthur with his arm around a man, who I take to be Francis, from the smashed glass. It sits on the table in front of the couch. A smallish T.V. takes up the far wall. I skip the bathroom as well as the kitchen. It's just awkward going through there.

My nosiness satisfied, I decide to check on Sleeping Beauty one last time before I head home. I walk into the room to find Arthur lying on top of the sheets in a state of undress. His shirt and pants are lying on the floor. Blushing, I take in his well-defined body and pale skin. For the first time I notice his insanely bushy eyebrows. They just make him cuter.

I go closer to check him out in more detail. So I'm shamelessly ogling a guy while he's sleeping. That's not wrong… is it? Whatever. But my conscious makes me wimp out, so I just decide to put him back under the covers

But as I lean over to tuck him back under, his hand flies out and grabs my arm. Before I know what's going on, I'm wrapped in his arms. I squirm, trying to get away, but his grips like iron. I'm squeezed against his warm skin. My moving causes him to roll over, and I'm dragged along until my face is squished into the lower part of his head. When his lips brush my forehead, I blush.

None of my struggles succeed in freeing me. Luckily, after a while in that position, Arthur rolls over again and releases me. I quickly scramble out of the bed. Panting slightly, I stare at his splayed out body, not daring to go near it. He rustles his hair in his sleep, which unfortunately raises his hotness meter a few hundred thousand bars.

A stupid idea comes into my mind. Slowly, I strip down into my boxers and climb into the bed. Sure enough, the rustling of the sheets causes the sleeping man to wrap his arms around me once again, but this time I'm looking at his face. Once more I struggle, this time to see how long it takes me to break free of his grasp. But Arthur's arms are holding me so tightly I can't even move them.

After a little while, and numerous attempts to awaken Arthur, I relax. So what if I spend the night in the bed? He'll sleep until noon and by that time I'll be long gone. I nestle myself against his chest and start to listen to the sound of his breathing. It's comforting and before I know it, I'm on the verge of sleep. I don't know what makes me do it, but just before I drift away, I pull myself up and give Arthur a light kiss on the lips.

I wake up before he does and quickly slide out of bed and get dressed. I consider leaving, but decide that it'd be more fun if I stick around. I head towards the kitchen and find the bowls. I pour out some cereal and sit down and wait.

Sure enough, Arthur comes staggering out of the bedroom in about fifteen minutes. He rubs his bloodshot eyes sleepily as he gets a bowl of cereal as well. He sits down beside me at the small table and starts to take a bite of cereal. Just before the spoon enters his mouth, he notices me.

"Who the heck are you!" he yells as he jumps out of his seat.

I frown," You don't remember me? We met at that restaurant and really hit it off, so we came back to your place and…" I trail off and run my finger down the line of his shirt. Arthur's face goes pale and I can't resist another jab. "I was the one in the blue dress and the heels."

I'm pretty sure he's about to pass out, so I let him off the hook. He stares at me as I burst out laughing. "You should have seen your face!" I howl," You were all like 'oh crap, one night stand!'"

"So… you aren't a …" he trails off.

"Nope, I'm the sucker who got stuck with the duty of lugging your drunken butt home from the bar." I say cynically.

His pale face is quickly flushed," Oh…I'm sorry about that. I just got a little…"

"Dude, it's okay. Breakups suck. It was no trouble."

He blushes some more, which I didn't think was possible," Thanks. So, um, where'd you sleep?"

I quickly answer," The couch," hoping that he doesn't notice that the couch is about a foot too small for me.

He nods," I hope it was comfortable. Oh, I'm Arthur by the way."

I take his extended hand and try to keep the thoughts of his chest (my pillow) from coming into my mind," Oh, it was. I'm Alfred." His grip is strong and I have to keep thoughts out of my head.

Abruptly, I stand up from the table," Well, I shouldn't intrude on you any longer."

He looks at my quizzically," Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I have to get to work," I say smoothly, the quick lie rolling off of my tongue easily.

"Oh, well… have a good day." Arthur blushes at the obvious awkward moment.

"Thanks, you too." I say as I pat myself down to make sure I have everything. Keys, phone, wallet… nope, no wallet. "I think I left my wallet in you- the living room." I catch myself as I make my exit.

I sneakily get into his bedroom and grab my wallet from the dresser. As I walk back out, I stick my head into the kitchen, where Arthur's washing the dishes. "Thanks for the grub." I say.

He smiles as he turns around," Thanks for getting me home."

I chuckle as I walk out the door. As I walk down the steps to where my car is parked, I think about the blushing man in the kitchen. He really changes when he's drunk, but then again, don't we all? I really liked him though, but the odds of me seeing Arthur again is pretty slim. I sigh dejectedly. It's always something.

When I get to the car, I unlock the door and slide in. I pull out my wallet and put on the seat next to me. As I do, I notice the scrap of paper folded inside it. Curious, I pull it out and unfold it. On the paper are two things: A phone number and the words," Call me."


End file.
